Kevin's Sylvan lake report

So Lisa, Viv, Rose and myself did the Sylvan Lake half ironman this weekend. Here’s how it went down…

Lisa and the girls decided to do it as a team in COSTUME! The three were dressed up as Hef Bunnies and looked damn cute. Lisa lost most of her aero advantage by tacking big floppy bunny ears on her helmet! Rose had a great run despite recurrent “issues” and was still smiling when she cruised in – Hope you’re feeling better! Viv rocked the swim and then pulled the toughest leg of the race – childcare. Next year they need some one to race with them dressed in a silk bathrobe and smoking a pipe.

As for me, I experienced a new first - pure dread on the swim. I had a little hissy fit of dyspnea/hyperventilation right at the start of the race. As I tried to calm down I hummed the chorus to “le freak” by Chic (yeah, I’m old but it worked) and tried to recall what SIPE actually stood for (swimming induced pulmonary edema). Since there wasn’t pink frothy stuff coming out my nose and I liked the song, I carried on. Now people often mention how bad triathletes bike handling skills are, but I would like to point out that our swim “handling” skills are a thousand times worse. I have never been tackled, hit or run over on the road but in the water… it’s like the Deerfoot with bumper cars!

After a tardy transition, it was on to the bike, yeah! With my power tap and HR monitor dutifully informing me of performance parameters, a detailed nutritional plan in place and exquisite knowledge of the course from previous races, I set off to do some damage. It all went pretty well except for the large volume of lake water consumed in the previous paragraph. I spent a large portion of the ride wondering how to pee and cycle at the same time – if only they talked about this on OLN during le tour…

After a prolonged T2 potty break it was off on the run. Now in my previous two visits to Sylvan I have gained great knowledge of the cleanliness and locations of all the porta-potties on course. They are both plentiful and fairly clean. But this year I was able to pass them all by! Thanks for the tip, Viv! On the outbound leg I felt pretty good, but I could hear this one guy running me down forever! His shoes were super loud. It sounded like a Dutchman wearing clogs or a samurai wearing those wooden slippers as he paddled by. I made a joke of it hoping he would slow down but to no avail. It was a little lonelier but a lot quieter after he was gone. In the final kilometres my brother, who was a volunteer, helped clear the path for me through the masses of beach people. I felt like the race leader and it was clear sailing to the finish and a fantastic day! At the finish I met up with Lisa and a good friend while we cheered in the other athletes.

Finally, a super huge THANKS to Roger andeveryone involved with putting the race on, especially the volunteers. They ROCKED.